Self-Care for Writers and Ways to Connect During COVID

 

This year, 2020, I've noticed a certain trend in thinking in my fellow writers, creatives, family members, friends, and myself. We are, as a society, struggling to find our feet in the midst of COVID and all that's going on in the world. Many feel blocked or burned out. We are grieving life as it used to be. We are struggling to connect with each other. We are struggling to connect with our own creativity.

We need self-care and connection like we've never needed it before.

So, where do we start?

I can't say I'm an expert, but I think we start with rest.

But what is rest? 

Rest can mean sleeping, taking our days slow, paring down our to-do lists, reading that stack of books by our bed, watching movies, doing something creative that doesn't have anything to do with our "career" and has more to do with filling our creative well. Sometimes, rest includes daydreaming. Sometimes, it includes quiet, and sometimes, it includes loud music. It all depends on the person.

Exercise may seem like the opposite of rest, but in fact, I think it is a type of rest. 

Exercise, especially something like walking, bicycling, hiking, rowing, or anything with repetitive, continuous movement can give us space and rhythm without having to go anywhere in particular. Exercise with dance, martial arts, yoga or other activities requiring changes of movements can help us wake up and pay attention to our bodies' needs. Exercise can bring us joy (endorphins), and can help us create a rhythm to our days so we can actually sleep at night. 

Affirmations for our writing and our creative lives can motivate us. This can mean writing out and stating something like: I am a capable and creative writer. 

It's helpful to affirm that daily or sometimes several times a day. 

Another way to do this is with quotes. The quote at the top of the page is one of my favorites from Stephen King's On Writing: A Memoir of Craft. It reminds me of the joy of writing a story. I rewrite quotes in my journal and reflect on them. They help me reground myself in the reasons I write. 

There are many ways to practice self-care, so those are just a few. For more ideas for positive self-talk and self-care for writers, I recommend reading Big Magic by Elizabeth Gilbert or Keep Writing with Fey: Sparks to Defeat Writer's Block, Depression, and Burnout by Chrys Fey.

Finally, I recommend looking for ways to connect with other writers during COVID. 

While I realize the Conferences page on our website is a bit overwhelming, I am working to create an easier way to find conferences in each writers' local area. Many conferences are online now, so anyone from anywhere in the world can attend. Many of them are even free, or have cut their costs. 

You might also check out the local writers' groups in your area, or search for them online. I found two in my area, one of which is hosting free, online classes and virtual open mic nights so writers can connect with one another. I was terrified the first time I attended because I have some social anxiety, but everyone seemed to feel awkward with Zoom and finally, we all relaxed. I am attending a free class tonight, and I'm excited talk "story" with other writers. 

Many people are lonely and feeling out of sorts during COVID. Reach out and see if you can connect with someone. Say hi to a neighbor or go through a drive-through for coffee and try to cheer up the barista there. Zoom or call a family member, friend, or someone from your community you haven't seen in a while. It might brighten their day and yours. 

Example: I talked on the phone to a senior lady from my church a  few weeks ago, and it put a smile on my face for several days. We aren't best friends, but we've been chatting with each other about books for over fifteen years so we had some catch-up to do.

Look for Online Conferences HERE.

Also, if you know of conferences I don't have listed, please add them in the comments below. Thank you!

Peering at the Mud of Muddy Middles

Sorry, it isn't a pretty picture. It's mud. My shoe. Tire tread marks from a delivery truck.

And, a hoof-print on the right side of my foot - look carefully. 

Have you experienced Muddy Middles?

It’s that part in the plot map where characters take an unexpected side turn, run down a rabbit trail, and flounder in a muddy pit.

Often, when I'm in the muddle middle moment of a novel, I discover a ripple which leads me to the plot's edgiest moment and back to the center again. It helps me re-focus the entire novel, gives me a boost of energy, and sends me roaring to the finish line - or at least to the next muddy middle crossroad.

Muddy middles aren't all that bad, when they are in the rear-view mirror.

But when we're stuck in them? Muddy middles are awful. Every bit of dialogue leaves a gritty taste in the mouth. The descriptions all feel dribbly. The fog descends and it isn't even a mysterious fog, or a romantic fog, or a fog where you can imagine dragons or zombies (dragon zombies?).

So, how do we pull ourselves out of the sucking mud threatening to tear off our waders and get to the more exciting walk through the mansion of mystery, or the dappled romantic meadows, or the fire-breathing dragon zombie horde-filled desolate plains?

I know, you’re waiting with bated breath (who made up that saying? Shakespeare – Merchant of Venice) for the ultimate secrets to life, muddy middles, and writing expertise … (cue really loud drum roll).

Well. I can’t give you a secret recipe, boom-it’s-all-fixed answer.

But I can peer into my rear-view mirror at past success.

And, I see a weird acronym forming: R-RACE.

 Rest. Yep. I wrote a four-letter word. Rest. That bad boy does actually help if it isn’t a wallowing sort of rest that lasts way too long.

Rejuvenation through something new, crazy, or just plain different than anything done before. In my own muddy middle right now, I’m turning a prose project into a graphic novel and attempting some song-writing. I signed up for volunteering at a poetry slam for youth in my area.

Affirmation. Write down what motivates you as a writer. Just write: I am a Writer. Say it out loud. Affirm it.

Community. The IWSG is a great place online for community. Check out all of our options: Twitter, Instagram, Facebook, Goodreads, a Blog Hop, the Newsletter. Plus, I recommend RL community even if it’s a bit scary to meet other authors. Some of us are nice. Go to a writing meet up. Volunteer somewhere. It may take a bit to find your tribe, but you can.

Expect the finish line. Know you are going to reach it. Write down exactly what the finish line is for you – describe what it feels like. Envision it. Expect it.

Now, go, pull your feet out of that mud!

This post is brought to you from the Pacific Northwest, nearish Seattle, where we experienced more than 90+ days of gray cloud cover from November through early February. If you find the sun, take a photo of it for me and tag me on Instagram, please. I need to remember what it looks like so I'm not frightened of that glowing alien orb when it appears in the sky.